I guess the rapture's here

Date: May 15, 2007
Time: 15:00
Place: The RI 'dero

Yep, whoop it up all you gays, secularists, and other causes of G*d's wrath the world over. Just call him Jerry "Farewell". It must have been a pretty narrow rapture, since I was driving around this afternoon and discerned no effects of suddenly vacated driver's seats. Maybe it's just that there is nobody worth saving in New York. I've often thought that, particularly while driving around. All this talk of Armageddon does remind me of a great Wodehouse line where Bertie has a hangover and describes his aunt's loud voice as giving him the impression that "Armageddon had set in with unusual severity".

Anyway, I just returned from getting a P.E.T. scan to make sure there was no cancer elsewhere in the old corpus. P.E.T. stands for "Positronic Emission Tomography". Positrons are technically anti-matter, positively charged analogs of the electron, so if you see someone who looks like me with a goatee, look out. It's probably my evil twin from an alternate dimension. I don't know what Tomography is, maybe painting with tomatoes or the history of people named Tom. I don't see what is has to do with positrons, though.