Who Laid Out These Bunkers, Hitler?

Date: April 8th, 2007
Time: 23:00
Place: In the clubhouse

Actually, I think he might have been mowing the greens, too. Him or Marquis de Sade. This was about the ugliest Master's I've seen, in terms of bogies and double bogies by top ranked pros. The guy who won said he felt Jeebus with him the whole time but it seemed the old testament Lord God Smites-a-lot was working everyone else's bag.

It even looked like Augusta finally had enough of Tiger Woods, he who humiliated the course by playing its par 5's as 3-wood-wedge. After getting wet at the par 5 15th, he had a fairly easy short iron to the 16th. He took a pretty good swing, but a bizarre wind came up knocking him down short of the green, causing him to exclaim "Can someone explain to me what the hell just happened there?" It got picked up on tape pretty clearly so we're probably going to be hearing it for another month as the sportscasters babble about it.

They should have heard me on Sunken Meadow Red #7 a few years ago. Those little kids at the pool party in the adjacent house sure did. I nailed a pretty good drive and was going for the par 5 green in 2. The little kids were down splashing and shrieking as one would expect. Unfortunately, I hit a very bad 3 wood after which my playing partner Ed says I hollered out 600 words in 20 seconds, all of which began with the letter "F".

The kids went dead silent. I doubt they've recovered yet.