Pig Bitin' Mad

Date: April 26th, 2007
Time: 22:44
Place: a mile north of haunted ruins

My SPCH275 presentation was RUINED by a balky projector in the classroom. A last minute substitute projector was wheeled in and misaligned so that navigating the desktop was a crapshoot, forcing me to tip the gag of my "Accuracy in Media" presentation with the subsequent "Weekly World News" front page before the speech started. Surprise, timing, all lost. Feh.

Worse, a truly inspirational slide I had prepared, "We're in a constant struggle against science, medicine, and religion" over a picture of the American icon and my personal hero, Eddie Clontz, was split in half, with the "We're in a constant struggle" projected worthlessly on the ceiling.

All Americans should be inspired by the story of Weekly World News creator Eddie Clontz, even if they didn't know he was the author of the "Ed Anger" (what makes me so pig-bitin' mad ...) columns. Eddie's brother Derek wrote the advice column from Countess Serena Sabak, giving very specific answers to questions like "your lost bracelet is in the top drawer beneath a pair of grey socks. Derek would boast how no one ever wrote in to say the answers were wrong, but then again, since none of the questions were real, this is not quite as great a feat as it seems.