Date: April 30, 2007
Time: 21:47
Place: Out of the dentist chair and damn glad
I now know how a bass feels. I had more barbs, hooks, and lines in my mouth today than a Minnesota lake. I'd feel let down of they don't find something serious. Fortunately, I'm getting a chance to use all that pain medication I got for my shoulder surgery. Don't need that stuff hanging around.
Speaking of hook, line, and sinker, yesterday's Times insinuates that "Cousin Bandar Bush" is no longer considered a reliable source in the White House because he hasn't been able to predict King Abdullah's behavior. KA snubbed Condi and then let fly some line about the US occupation of Iraq being illegal at an Arab leaders conference.
W must feel like he's received history's least deserved pimp-slap. Everything he's done for that man and now this. Bush and Cheney are now at the point where their best option, based on precedent, is to shave their heads and go into rehab.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
lack-o-ambition Sunday
Date: April 29th, 2007
Time: 18:33
Place: My apartment, which I really should clean up
One of the reasons I resumed my college career in my mid-40's was that I had discovered I was doing damn little on the weekends other than lying on the couch, yelling at C-Span (or the Jets and Giants during the football season). DeVry was offering weekend courses with which I could upgrade my Amish computer skills, so it seemed like a good idea.
This weekend, I reverted to form a bit. There were some forums from the LA Festival of Books. There was a big push for Slate's Chris Hedges' book on the radical Christian right and its cronies in the Bush administration.
I think people accord way to much influence to philosophy in the Bush administration. If you look at them simply as interested only in the smooth perpetuation of the oil industry, everything makes a lot more sense. For instance, al Qaeda's main "campaign issue" in Saudi Arabia (where they are more popular certainly than the Royal family) was that American troops were on holy Muslim soil, i.e. Saudi Arabia. American troops were there to protect the Royal family from Saddam Hussein. Guess what?
Today's vocabulary word is "lucubration". It means roughly burning the midnight oil to contrive bloated gibberish, and in the dictionary they have a picture of Paul Wolfowitz testifying to Congress about the need to invade Iraq. Even he once included in his testimony that one of the benefits to this policy was that we could remove our troops from Saudi Arabia, where they were proving an irritant to local sensibilities.
Time: 18:33
Place: My apartment, which I really should clean up
One of the reasons I resumed my college career in my mid-40's was that I had discovered I was doing damn little on the weekends other than lying on the couch, yelling at C-Span (or the Jets and Giants during the football season). DeVry was offering weekend courses with which I could upgrade my Amish computer skills, so it seemed like a good idea.
This weekend, I reverted to form a bit. There were some forums from the LA Festival of Books. There was a big push for Slate's Chris Hedges' book on the radical Christian right and its cronies in the Bush administration.
I think people accord way to much influence to philosophy in the Bush administration. If you look at them simply as interested only in the smooth perpetuation of the oil industry, everything makes a lot more sense. For instance, al Qaeda's main "campaign issue" in Saudi Arabia (where they are more popular certainly than the Royal family) was that American troops were on holy Muslim soil, i.e. Saudi Arabia. American troops were there to protect the Royal family from Saddam Hussein. Guess what?
Today's vocabulary word is "lucubration". It means roughly burning the midnight oil to contrive bloated gibberish, and in the dictionary they have a picture of Paul Wolfowitz testifying to Congress about the need to invade Iraq. Even he once included in his testimony that one of the benefits to this policy was that we could remove our troops from Saudi Arabia, where they were proving an irritant to local sensibilities.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
This PBS series better end with a devouring
Date: April 28, 2007
Time: 21:36
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
By PBS, I mean Pearls Before Swine, a comic strip I recommended in this space a few days back. The current story arc has the son of the idiot crocs in love with the niece of the zebra over his parents objections. It's starting to look downright treacly and damn it, it better stop. The only way to redeem it is for Junior to discover his inner predator, preferably at some comedically rich time.
It's bad enough Battle Star Galactica went down the toilet at the end. The only interest generated by the "cliffhanger" ending is morbid interest, in how are they going to cobble a season's worth of shows behind the muddled mess of story lines. Maybe those four clowns who just discovered they were Cylons by humming "All Along The Watchtower" will upgrade the act to use wax-paper/comb kazoos. It used to improve the Bullwinkle episodes.
My favorite cliff hanger ending was the Dirty Harry spoof "Sledge Hammer". He's supposedly disarming a nuclear bomb ("Trust me, I know what I'm doing.") and it apparently goes off. The next year, they reveal it did go off. They then start playing the theme music, and right after the Sledge Hammer title goes up, they stick "The Early Years" right under it.
I don't know if that will help BSG. Maybe they can have Mary McConnell's character wake up and say "It was all a dream, all just a terrible dream".
Time: 21:36
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
By PBS, I mean Pearls Before Swine, a comic strip I recommended in this space a few days back. The current story arc has the son of the idiot crocs in love with the niece of the zebra over his parents objections. It's starting to look downright treacly and damn it, it better stop. The only way to redeem it is for Junior to discover his inner predator, preferably at some comedically rich time.
It's bad enough Battle Star Galactica went down the toilet at the end. The only interest generated by the "cliffhanger" ending is morbid interest, in how are they going to cobble a season's worth of shows behind the muddled mess of story lines. Maybe those four clowns who just discovered they were Cylons by humming "All Along The Watchtower" will upgrade the act to use wax-paper/comb kazoos. It used to improve the Bullwinkle episodes.
My favorite cliff hanger ending was the Dirty Harry spoof "Sledge Hammer". He's supposedly disarming a nuclear bomb ("Trust me, I know what I'm doing.") and it apparently goes off. The next year, they reveal it did go off. They then start playing the theme music, and right after the Sledge Hammer title goes up, they stick "The Early Years" right under it.
I don't know if that will help BSG. Maybe they can have Mary McConnell's character wake up and say "It was all a dream, all just a terrible dream".
Make up for yesterday
Date: April 28, 2007
Time: 21:04
Place: Ever so humble but no place like it, home
Got home late and tired last night so I just went to bed. The topic around the office yesterday was the Richard Gere arrest warrant for kissing that actress at the Indian film festival. Being a data processing area, over half the people are Indian so they thought it was pretty funny. Most of them were not aware of the "gerbil" rumor, and I just don't see how one can truly appreciate this story without that bit of background.
There are temples in India with carvings from the Kama Sutra on the walls. Apparently, this is all a manifestation of a parliamentary system where the religious right can complain loud enough to get an arrest warrant, but the case gets dismissed the second it enters the court. No word on the gerbil statutes, though.
It made me wonder, though, if there is some kind of Bollywood porn industry. Do they have some cheesy, signature sitar riff as a counterpart to the American wa-wa pedal boooowwww-wacka-wacka-wacka-boooowwwwww that serves as background music? Do the actresses denote arousal in that very high shrill voice, and do about 80 people just pop in and break into a choreographed line dance?
Time: 21:04
Place: Ever so humble but no place like it, home
Got home late and tired last night so I just went to bed. The topic around the office yesterday was the Richard Gere arrest warrant for kissing that actress at the Indian film festival. Being a data processing area, over half the people are Indian so they thought it was pretty funny. Most of them were not aware of the "gerbil" rumor, and I just don't see how one can truly appreciate this story without that bit of background.
There are temples in India with carvings from the Kama Sutra on the walls. Apparently, this is all a manifestation of a parliamentary system where the religious right can complain loud enough to get an arrest warrant, but the case gets dismissed the second it enters the court. No word on the gerbil statutes, though.
It made me wonder, though, if there is some kind of Bollywood porn industry. Do they have some cheesy, signature sitar riff as a counterpart to the American wa-wa pedal boooowwww-wacka-wacka-wacka-boooowwwwww that serves as background music? Do the actresses denote arousal in that very high shrill voice, and do about 80 people just pop in and break into a choreographed line dance?
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Pig Bitin' Mad
Date: April 26th, 2007
Time: 22:44
Place: a mile north of haunted ruins
My SPCH275 presentation was RUINED by a balky projector in the classroom. A last minute substitute projector was wheeled in and misaligned so that navigating the desktop was a crapshoot, forcing me to tip the gag of my "Accuracy in Media" presentation with the subsequent "Weekly World News" front page before the speech started. Surprise, timing, all lost. Feh.
Worse, a truly inspirational slide I had prepared, "We're in a constant struggle against science, medicine, and religion" over a picture of the American icon and my personal hero, Eddie Clontz, was split in half, with the "We're in a constant struggle" projected worthlessly on the ceiling.
All Americans should be inspired by the story of Weekly World News creator Eddie Clontz, even if they didn't know he was the author of the "Ed Anger" (what makes me so pig-bitin' mad ...) columns. Eddie's brother Derek wrote the advice column from Countess Serena Sabak, giving very specific answers to questions like "your lost bracelet is in the top drawer beneath a pair of grey socks. Derek would boast how no one ever wrote in to say the answers were wrong, but then again, since none of the questions were real, this is not quite as great a feat as it seems.
Time: 22:44
Place: a mile north of haunted ruins
My SPCH275 presentation was RUINED by a balky projector in the classroom. A last minute substitute projector was wheeled in and misaligned so that navigating the desktop was a crapshoot, forcing me to tip the gag of my "Accuracy in Media" presentation with the subsequent "Weekly World News" front page before the speech started. Surprise, timing, all lost. Feh.
Worse, a truly inspirational slide I had prepared, "We're in a constant struggle against science, medicine, and religion" over a picture of the American icon and my personal hero, Eddie Clontz, was split in half, with the "We're in a constant struggle" projected worthlessly on the ceiling.
All Americans should be inspired by the story of Weekly World News creator Eddie Clontz, even if they didn't know he was the author of the "Ed Anger" (what makes me so pig-bitin' mad ...) columns. Eddie's brother Derek wrote the advice column from Countess Serena Sabak, giving very specific answers to questions like "your lost bracelet is in the top drawer beneath a pair of grey socks. Derek would boast how no one ever wrote in to say the answers were wrong, but then again, since none of the questions were real, this is not quite as great a feat as it seems.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
These kids today and their anime
Date: April 24, 2007
Time: 22:33
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
Bullwinkle was my favorite cartoon. From the standpoint of drawing arts, it was one step above Clutch Cargo, where they'd project human lips onto static cutouts, a technique Conan O'Brien has kept alive. Bullwinkle evolved from Crusader Rabbit, or more accurately Rocky the Flying squirrel evolved from the rabbit, but I'll leave that debate to the zoologists.
These cartoons were made in the late 50's and early 60's. They were preceded by and shared TV time the big studio cartoons of Warner Brothers and MGM. Warner Brothers produced the excellent Bugs, Daffy, Elmer, Taz, et al. MGM produced the consistently unfunny Tom & Jerry that somehow managed to endure for years, kind of like a full motion "Cathy". The animation was top notch and the background music actually employed two of the largest private orchestras in the country. When a Bullwinkle episode had any background music at all, it was a solo kazoo.
God, I loved those guys.
Time: 22:33
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
Bullwinkle was my favorite cartoon. From the standpoint of drawing arts, it was one step above Clutch Cargo, where they'd project human lips onto static cutouts, a technique Conan O'Brien has kept alive. Bullwinkle evolved from Crusader Rabbit, or more accurately Rocky the Flying squirrel evolved from the rabbit, but I'll leave that debate to the zoologists.
These cartoons were made in the late 50's and early 60's. They were preceded by and shared TV time the big studio cartoons of Warner Brothers and MGM. Warner Brothers produced the excellent Bugs, Daffy, Elmer, Taz, et al. MGM produced the consistently unfunny Tom & Jerry that somehow managed to endure for years, kind of like a full motion "Cathy". The animation was top notch and the background music actually employed two of the largest private orchestras in the country. When a Bullwinkle episode had any background music at all, it was a solo kazoo.
God, I loved those guys.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Speculate to Accumulate
Date: April 23, 2007
Time: 22:29
Place: 100 yards from Tomorrow
Tomorrow being a metaphor for the Roosevelt Island Tidal Energy pilot project, which in turn represents the harvesting of renewable and non-polluting resources.
If anybody needs any further proof of what a treasonous gaggle of bastards the harem of slaves to the Saudi Royal family that calls itself the Bush administration is, consider how much alternative energy companies like Verdant Energy, who built the project, have to scramble for funds.
One of the founding pipe dreams among the edible paste and blunt scissors think tankers meandering under the "neoconservative" banner is missile defense. I can recall Richard Perle's blitherings on this subject from the late 70's. He was a shill for Boeing back then. Hey, he's gotta eat. Even back then, everybody knew that every dollar spent on missile defense could be defeated by 5 cents worth of countermeasures.
While adminstration apologists will stretch to come up with a 4 billion annual number for alternative fuels (by including tangentially related tax breaks for ethanol), this administration has spent 50 billion alone on two failed ABM systems. 40 billion went for those rocket interceptors that will work as long as there is a homing beacon in the nose of the target, and 11 billion for the airborne laser, that pre-supposed the enemy was weak enough to allow a 747 (with an incredibly toxic load of chemicals aboard) to wallow in its airspace AND, characteristic of most neocon pipe-dreams, reality-based rules about air diffracting light would not apply.
The free market will not get involved because at its bravest, capital is cowardly. From computers to jet planes, governments had to assume the initial risk, often betting on 3 horses in a 5 horse race, before the private companies will come in.
Time: 22:29
Place: 100 yards from Tomorrow
Tomorrow being a metaphor for the Roosevelt Island Tidal Energy pilot project, which in turn represents the harvesting of renewable and non-polluting resources.
If anybody needs any further proof of what a treasonous gaggle of bastards the harem of slaves to the Saudi Royal family that calls itself the Bush administration is, consider how much alternative energy companies like Verdant Energy, who built the project, have to scramble for funds.
One of the founding pipe dreams among the edible paste and blunt scissors think tankers meandering under the "neoconservative" banner is missile defense. I can recall Richard Perle's blitherings on this subject from the late 70's. He was a shill for Boeing back then. Hey, he's gotta eat. Even back then, everybody knew that every dollar spent on missile defense could be defeated by 5 cents worth of countermeasures.
While adminstration apologists will stretch to come up with a 4 billion annual number for alternative fuels (by including tangentially related tax breaks for ethanol), this administration has spent 50 billion alone on two failed ABM systems. 40 billion went for those rocket interceptors that will work as long as there is a homing beacon in the nose of the target, and 11 billion for the airborne laser, that pre-supposed the enemy was weak enough to allow a 747 (with an incredibly toxic load of chemicals aboard) to wallow in its airspace AND, characteristic of most neocon pipe-dreams, reality-based rules about air diffracting light would not apply.
The free market will not get involved because at its bravest, capital is cowardly. From computers to jet planes, governments had to assume the initial risk, often betting on 3 horses in a 5 horse race, before the private companies will come in.
Monday, April 23, 2007
Roosevelt Island - Movietown
Date: April 23rd, 2007
Time: 22:44
Place: The back lot
There was somebody shooting a movie here today on Roosevelt Island. It's quite a popular spot, particularly the parking garage. Unfortunately, the garage is usually used for the gritty, industrial look. Parts of "Inside Job" and "Dark Water" were filmed here. Some of the neighbors were saying that it looked like they were trying to film a hooker scene. They kept filming this thin women with black leather pants and a white tube top smoking. I saw her and I think it might have been some humorless rock video. They did have one elaborate tour bus with loads of wardrobe and food though.
The had this weird lighting gismo that looked like a balloon on a stick. It was black on the bottom and luminescent in the upper hemisphere. Perhaps they filming a remake of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and that was the space ship. I doubt it. It looked like humorless artsy types.
The south end of the island is where they constructed the cemetery set for Zoolander, where David Duchovny's character ducks behind tomb stones with Manhattan in the background. Queens is 100 yeards away with loads of cemeteries (PEOPLE ARE DYING TO GET IN! BA-DA-BING!) and they build a fake one for the movie. Go figure.
Time: 22:44
Place: The back lot
There was somebody shooting a movie here today on Roosevelt Island. It's quite a popular spot, particularly the parking garage. Unfortunately, the garage is usually used for the gritty, industrial look. Parts of "Inside Job" and "Dark Water" were filmed here. Some of the neighbors were saying that it looked like they were trying to film a hooker scene. They kept filming this thin women with black leather pants and a white tube top smoking. I saw her and I think it might have been some humorless rock video. They did have one elaborate tour bus with loads of wardrobe and food though.
The had this weird lighting gismo that looked like a balloon on a stick. It was black on the bottom and luminescent in the upper hemisphere. Perhaps they filming a remake of "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and that was the space ship. I doubt it. It looked like humorless artsy types.
The south end of the island is where they constructed the cemetery set for Zoolander, where David Duchovny's character ducks behind tomb stones with Manhattan in the background. Queens is 100 yeards away with loads of cemeteries (PEOPLE ARE DYING TO GET IN! BA-DA-BING!) and they build a fake one for the movie. Go figure.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
To appreciate Jeter, you must suffer Michael
Date: April 22, 2007
Time: 16:40
Place: Yankee-town
I grew up in north-east Queens, in an apartment complex populated largely by displaced Brooklynites. This was hard-core Mets territory. The Mets were born the year after I was so by the time I became aware of baseball, my contrarian nature dictated that I must become a Yankee fan. This was a tough time to be a Yankee fan, around 68-69. The Mets would take the World Series, while the Yankees completed one of the fastest disintegrations of a team conceivable prior to free agency. Mantle, Maris, Ford, Howard, Kubek, and even Tresh may as well have been Civil War generals by the time I understood baseball.
Apart from their clearly drug-addicted first baseman Joe Pepitone, the woes of the Yankees of this era were personified by their second baseman and shortstop, Horace Clarke and Gene Michael. I'd seen both make 3 errors in a game, but at least Clarke could bat his weight. Michael couldn't, despite being notoriously thin. Worse was the fact that they held on to him for about 6 years of consistently putrid performance.
I was out enjoying the marvelously clement weather just before and noticed a lttle kid wearing a Jeter shirt. He is truly fortunate to be living in this marvelous age where the Yankees have a shortstop worthy of the high calling of "Yankee".
Time: 16:40
Place: Yankee-town
I grew up in north-east Queens, in an apartment complex populated largely by displaced Brooklynites. This was hard-core Mets territory. The Mets were born the year after I was so by the time I became aware of baseball, my contrarian nature dictated that I must become a Yankee fan. This was a tough time to be a Yankee fan, around 68-69. The Mets would take the World Series, while the Yankees completed one of the fastest disintegrations of a team conceivable prior to free agency. Mantle, Maris, Ford, Howard, Kubek, and even Tresh may as well have been Civil War generals by the time I understood baseball.
Apart from their clearly drug-addicted first baseman Joe Pepitone, the woes of the Yankees of this era were personified by their second baseman and shortstop, Horace Clarke and Gene Michael. I'd seen both make 3 errors in a game, but at least Clarke could bat his weight. Michael couldn't, despite being notoriously thin. Worse was the fact that they held on to him for about 6 years of consistently putrid performance.
I was out enjoying the marvelously clement weather just before and noticed a lttle kid wearing a Jeter shirt. He is truly fortunate to be living in this marvelous age where the Yankees have a shortstop worthy of the high calling of "Yankee".
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Rat Humor
Date: April 21, 2007
Time: 21:09
Place: Balmy Roosevelt Island in the Sunshine!
One of my favorite comic strips these days is "Pearls Before Swine" http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/ . The main characters are Rat and Pig, but the strip is tending toward some extraordinarily inept crocodiles from the Zeeba Zeeba Eata fraternity. They moved in next door to the zebra character and try unsuccessfully to devour him. Their dialect is supposed to be read as a 60's farce movie Soviet accent. It's also refreshing to see a comic strip that is unafraid of directly slagging horribly unfunny strips like Cathy and Family Circus.
What put me in mind of it today was a pretty good rat joke I heard. It also kind of ties in with one of the themes of this blog, me whining about my shoulder, teeth, and plantar wart.
Early in the space program they decide to shoot a rat into space. They grab a lab rat and spin him around in a centrifuge until he's squashed to death (almost). They then take him out to field and shoot him across it with a cannon. They then put him a contraption that flips him upside down and sideways for about an hour.
They put the rat back in his cage and another rat says, "How was it?"
The astro-rat says,"Pretty bad, but it's better than cancer!"
Time: 21:09
Place: Balmy Roosevelt Island in the Sunshine!
One of my favorite comic strips these days is "Pearls Before Swine" http://www.comics.com/comics/pearls/ . The main characters are Rat and Pig, but the strip is tending toward some extraordinarily inept crocodiles from the Zeeba Zeeba Eata fraternity. They moved in next door to the zebra character and try unsuccessfully to devour him. Their dialect is supposed to be read as a 60's farce movie Soviet accent. It's also refreshing to see a comic strip that is unafraid of directly slagging horribly unfunny strips like Cathy and Family Circus.
What put me in mind of it today was a pretty good rat joke I heard. It also kind of ties in with one of the themes of this blog, me whining about my shoulder, teeth, and plantar wart.
Early in the space program they decide to shoot a rat into space. They grab a lab rat and spin him around in a centrifuge until he's squashed to death (almost). They then take him out to field and shoot him across it with a cannon. They then put him a contraption that flips him upside down and sideways for about an hour.
They put the rat back in his cage and another rat says, "How was it?"
The astro-rat says,"Pretty bad, but it's better than cancer!"
Friday, April 20, 2007
Real War On Terror in the East Channel
Date: April 20, 2007
Time: 22:43
Place: A hundred yards north of the vanguard
I saw a couple of the six new electricity generating turbines installed over by the Welfare Island Bridge this morning. This pilot project will generate the electricity to run the Gristede's and the Motorgate garage. Eventually, between 300 and 500 of these 15 foot wide turbines will sit in the East Channel, supplying about 10 MW, which is adequate for 8,000 homes, which is about the projected size of Roosevelt Island. No story is more important to national security, the economy, or the environment than these six turbines.
Our foreign policy is bizarrely and ludicrously warped beyond logic or sense by the fact that we need to import over fifty percent of our oil from a market where prices are set by Saudi Arabia. Our addiction dictates that we can't say "Boo" to the very people who fund Al Qaeda. This situation will only worsen as India and China modernize and demand more of this limited commodity. World Wars have started this way. Anybody who frets about Islamo-fascism and then says nothing about energy independence is just not serious.
That is why these six turbines are such a big story. Each turn of the blades pulls another bit of greenhouse gas back into the sea. Each turn of the blades brings back another bit of America's engineering and manufacturing base. Each turn of the blades strikes another blow in the real war on terror. Also, as I said before, each turn of these three blade propellers is an upraised middle finger to King Abdullah, Osama Bin Laden, and Dick Cheney.
Time: 22:43
Place: A hundred yards north of the vanguard
I saw a couple of the six new electricity generating turbines installed over by the Welfare Island Bridge this morning. This pilot project will generate the electricity to run the Gristede's and the Motorgate garage. Eventually, between 300 and 500 of these 15 foot wide turbines will sit in the East Channel, supplying about 10 MW, which is adequate for 8,000 homes, which is about the projected size of Roosevelt Island. No story is more important to national security, the economy, or the environment than these six turbines.
Our foreign policy is bizarrely and ludicrously warped beyond logic or sense by the fact that we need to import over fifty percent of our oil from a market where prices are set by Saudi Arabia. Our addiction dictates that we can't say "Boo" to the very people who fund Al Qaeda. This situation will only worsen as India and China modernize and demand more of this limited commodity. World Wars have started this way. Anybody who frets about Islamo-fascism and then says nothing about energy independence is just not serious.
That is why these six turbines are such a big story. Each turn of the blades pulls another bit of greenhouse gas back into the sea. Each turn of the blades brings back another bit of America's engineering and manufacturing base. Each turn of the blades strikes another blow in the real war on terror. Also, as I said before, each turn of these three blade propellers is an upraised middle finger to King Abdullah, Osama Bin Laden, and Dick Cheney.
We've nothing to fear but roaring asswipes
Date: Still April 19th in Albuquerque
Time: 22:46 ditto
Place: Not Albuquerque
The discussion topic for an on-line history course I am taking is terrorism, and the presumption that they have goals. One glaring exception to this rule is Timothy McVeigh. If there was any motive, itwas an obtuse attempt at revenge for Waco and Ruby Ridge. It's not clear that he was part of any large organization, he and his friends were just ticked off.
The scary part about modern weaponry and population density is that there is a whole lot more damage one can do without all that much sophistication. This last event at Virginia Tech was an example. Large ammunition clips and large groups of people to empty them at. Also scary is the prevalence of mass media. Apparently, this guy was largely incoherent but the one end he did have in mind was to have his video all over TV. He succeeded. We are all in deep trouble if many people share his pathetically modest goal to feed the beast of cable news for a week.
Drama queens are now our most serious terror threat.
Time: 22:46 ditto
Place: Not Albuquerque
The discussion topic for an on-line history course I am taking is terrorism, and the presumption that they have goals. One glaring exception to this rule is Timothy McVeigh. If there was any motive, itwas an obtuse attempt at revenge for Waco and Ruby Ridge. It's not clear that he was part of any large organization, he and his friends were just ticked off.
The scary part about modern weaponry and population density is that there is a whole lot more damage one can do without all that much sophistication. This last event at Virginia Tech was an example. Large ammunition clips and large groups of people to empty them at. Also scary is the prevalence of mass media. Apparently, this guy was largely incoherent but the one end he did have in mind was to have his video all over TV. He succeeded. We are all in deep trouble if many people share his pathetically modest goal to feed the beast of cable news for a week.
Drama queens are now our most serious terror threat.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Failed a test
Date: April 18th, 2007
Time: 20:50
Place: Not imprisoned in a volcano on Venus
I haven't seen the Weekly World News in the supermarket for a while, so I went looking online. "On line" as opposed to "in line" as "in the supermarket checkout line", for I am a man who dearly loves his pun of the day. The first one I ever bought was "Siamese Twins Face Firing Squad", back at some point in 1987.
One of the links that came up for the home of Batboy and Ed Anger was this http://www.thenetw0rk.com/games/scientology.php which was listed as Scientology vs. The Weekly World News. It consists of a quiz where you are given a quote and you are supposed to decide if it comes from one of L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology cosmology or the Weekly World News ("Couple Chased From Yellowstone by Talking Bear").
I made a sincere effort (and I've read both "Dianetics" and "Ed Anger's My America") and scored 53.3 percent. That Hoi Polloi stuff, who knew? Now that I gave you all that hint, don't come over all snooty on me just because you scored 65+.
Time: 20:50
Place: Not imprisoned in a volcano on Venus
I haven't seen the Weekly World News in the supermarket for a while, so I went looking online. "On line" as opposed to "in line" as "in the supermarket checkout line", for I am a man who dearly loves his pun of the day. The first one I ever bought was "Siamese Twins Face Firing Squad", back at some point in 1987.
One of the links that came up for the home of Batboy and Ed Anger was this http://www.thenetw0rk.com/games/scientology.php which was listed as Scientology vs. The Weekly World News. It consists of a quiz where you are given a quote and you are supposed to decide if it comes from one of L. Ron Hubbard's Scientology cosmology or the Weekly World News ("Couple Chased From Yellowstone by Talking Bear").
I made a sincere effort (and I've read both "Dianetics" and "Ed Anger's My America") and scored 53.3 percent. That Hoi Polloi stuff, who knew? Now that I gave you all that hint, don't come over all snooty on me just because you scored 65+.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
and yet more tax
Date: April 17th, 2007
Time: 20:10
Place: Good graces of the IRS
Just finished watching another episode of House, where Hugh Laurie continues to amaze playing the least Bertie Wooster-ish character imaginable, the role in which he started to amaze.
Bertie's creator, the great British author P. G. Wodehouse, was an unflinchingly genial, quiet man who had a fierce distaste for paying taxes. I am a member of the Wodehouse Society. I read an article in the newsletter about how Wodehouse, though scrupulously apolitical in his life, had donated heavily to some wingnut in the 50's who was trying to have the federal income tax declared unconstitutional.
Wodehouse lived much of his life under the accusation of being a Nazi collaborator, which was a nonsense charge, but it all stemmed from him being too cheap to pay taxes. In 1939, he was a British tax exile living Le Touquet, France. When the Germans overran Le Touquet, they imprisoned Wodehouse along with all the other foreign nationals of hostile countries.
Wodehouse was still getting paid by the Saturday Evening Post, and a German Wodehouse fan set up some broadcasts for Wodehouse from the camp. He made some very light references to the British Army which were exagerated by the British press. He didn't live it down until he was knighted in 1975.
Time: 20:10
Place: Good graces of the IRS
Just finished watching another episode of House, where Hugh Laurie continues to amaze playing the least Bertie Wooster-ish character imaginable, the role in which he started to amaze.
Bertie's creator, the great British author P. G. Wodehouse, was an unflinchingly genial, quiet man who had a fierce distaste for paying taxes. I am a member of the Wodehouse Society. I read an article in the newsletter about how Wodehouse, though scrupulously apolitical in his life, had donated heavily to some wingnut in the 50's who was trying to have the federal income tax declared unconstitutional.
Wodehouse lived much of his life under the accusation of being a Nazi collaborator, which was a nonsense charge, but it all stemmed from him being too cheap to pay taxes. In 1939, he was a British tax exile living Le Touquet, France. When the Germans overran Le Touquet, they imprisoned Wodehouse along with all the other foreign nationals of hostile countries.
Wodehouse was still getting paid by the Saturday Evening Post, and a German Wodehouse fan set up some broadcasts for Wodehouse from the camp. He made some very light references to the British Army which were exagerated by the British press. He didn't live it down until he was knighted in 1975.
Taxed
Date: Morning after Tax Day
Time: 07:45
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
I hammered out the old Turbo Tax last night. The amount I owed was bad but not as bad as I thought, and there is always the comforting thought that you had to have income to be taxed on it (usually). I couldn't find my1099 so I had to add up figures off bank statements. The one brokerage statement I could not find was the one where I bought some stocks that I had to sell at a near total loss, so I had to low ball it a bit.
Then agan, to quote William F Buckley in a debate about taxation and the defnese budget, "to paraphrase Patrick Henry, the price of Liberty is not cheap!" I saw him say that on Firing Line, and a few months later it came out that he had paid no taxes on income received from his syndicated column. He claimed it was something like "sweat equty" from his editorship of the National Review. He "settled with the government".
He is one of our most prominent libertarians.
Time: 07:45
Place: Welfare Island Swankadero
I hammered out the old Turbo Tax last night. The amount I owed was bad but not as bad as I thought, and there is always the comforting thought that you had to have income to be taxed on it (usually). I couldn't find my1099 so I had to add up figures off bank statements. The one brokerage statement I could not find was the one where I bought some stocks that I had to sell at a near total loss, so I had to low ball it a bit.
Then agan, to quote William F Buckley in a debate about taxation and the defnese budget, "to paraphrase Patrick Henry, the price of Liberty is not cheap!" I saw him say that on Firing Line, and a few months later it came out that he had paid no taxes on income received from his syndicated column. He claimed it was something like "sweat equty" from his editorship of the National Review. He "settled with the government".
He is one of our most prominent libertarians.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
Abcess makes the heart grow fonder
Date: Apr 15, 2007
Time: 11:49
Place: High and dry
For those that may have been concerned over that tooth problem I had at the last conclave of SPCH275, whatever it was appears to have worked itself out by the next morning. I did go to the Roosevelt Island dentist and get myself involved in anti-biotics, H202 (peroxide) syringes, and a novacaine class cleaning for next Friday. Something to look forward to!
I still haven't done my taxes, I can't find my 1099 from the bank, and it appears I neglected to pay estimated tax on a hefty stock option I exercised back last March. Oops. What really has me pissed is this weather. I got dental work ahead, my shoulder's screwed up, I got a huge plantar wart in my heel, my tax situation has me headed for Leavenworth, and I'm supposed to fend of seasonal affective disorder with this constant 40 degrees and pissing rain bullsh*t.
Oh, yeah, the best part of the Welfare Island Swankadero being on the top floor is that the high hat over the foyer leaks whenever there is a big rain storm.
The laughs keep coming.
Here's a little game. Don Ho's dead. Don Imus got fired for calling scholar athletes (nappy headed) hos. Make up a pun. On the Rodney Anonymous site I posted Don Ho's obit with the title Nap Well, Ho.
Time: 11:49
Place: High and dry
For those that may have been concerned over that tooth problem I had at the last conclave of SPCH275, whatever it was appears to have worked itself out by the next morning. I did go to the Roosevelt Island dentist and get myself involved in anti-biotics, H202 (peroxide) syringes, and a novacaine class cleaning for next Friday. Something to look forward to!
I still haven't done my taxes, I can't find my 1099 from the bank, and it appears I neglected to pay estimated tax on a hefty stock option I exercised back last March. Oops. What really has me pissed is this weather. I got dental work ahead, my shoulder's screwed up, I got a huge plantar wart in my heel, my tax situation has me headed for Leavenworth, and I'm supposed to fend of seasonal affective disorder with this constant 40 degrees and pissing rain bullsh*t.
Oh, yeah, the best part of the Welfare Island Swankadero being on the top floor is that the high hat over the foyer leaks whenever there is a big rain storm.
The laughs keep coming.
Here's a little game. Don Ho's dead. Don Imus got fired for calling scholar athletes (nappy headed) hos. Make up a pun. On the Rodney Anonymous site I posted Don Ho's obit with the title Nap Well, Ho.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
More Wolf-man Howlers
Date: Holy sh*t, where's my W-2?
Time: 10:00
Place: Amidst the rubble that is my desk top
Ray Handley took the defending Superbowl champion New York Giants and turned them into an 8-8 team. He was absolutely terrible at his job. If the Giants were up by two touchdowns or less at half-time, it seemed they always managed to lose the game. He seemed incapable of adapting in mid-game. The players were largly the same ones that won the Superowl and so were many of the coaches with a few notable exceptions. At he end of his tenure, Ray Handley had the decency to bow out gracefully. I'm sure he could have gotten a second-tier college job to balm his ego, but no. I think I heard that he coached at a local high school, but he stayed off the national stage.
Speaking of "absolutely terrible at his job", but that Paul Wolfowitz had the grace of Ray Handley. The scandal of him raising his girl friend's "World Bank" salary to dizzying heights turned even uglier this week.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/13/world/13wolfowitz.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Paul now allows that he was perhaps unwisely directly involved in the "negotiations" and apologized, as the assembled WB workers booed and yelled "Resign!".
Since the World Bank is paid for by government donations, the next time the Faux News and talk radio blowhards cry about the money-wasting UN, tell them to start trying to get some money back from their intellectual mentor, old Dr. Spittlecomb.
Time: 10:00
Place: Amidst the rubble that is my desk top
Ray Handley took the defending Superbowl champion New York Giants and turned them into an 8-8 team. He was absolutely terrible at his job. If the Giants were up by two touchdowns or less at half-time, it seemed they always managed to lose the game. He seemed incapable of adapting in mid-game. The players were largly the same ones that won the Superowl and so were many of the coaches with a few notable exceptions. At he end of his tenure, Ray Handley had the decency to bow out gracefully. I'm sure he could have gotten a second-tier college job to balm his ego, but no. I think I heard that he coached at a local high school, but he stayed off the national stage.
Speaking of "absolutely terrible at his job", but that Paul Wolfowitz had the grace of Ray Handley. The scandal of him raising his girl friend's "World Bank" salary to dizzying heights turned even uglier this week.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/13/world/13wolfowitz.html?_r=1&oref=slogin
Paul now allows that he was perhaps unwisely directly involved in the "negotiations" and apologized, as the assembled WB workers booed and yelled "Resign!".
Since the World Bank is paid for by government donations, the next time the Faux News and talk radio blowhards cry about the money-wasting UN, tell them to start trying to get some money back from their intellectual mentor, old Dr. Spittlecomb.
Les Payne wins!
Date: Friday the 13th
Time: Ask Freddy or Jason
Place: Welfae Island Swankadero - not Newsday territory
I don't think I've looked at a copy of Newsday (the Long Island paper) since I moved to Roosevelt Island. Before that, living in Long Island and Queens between 1988 and 2004, I read it quite a bit and had many (4 or 5) comedic masterpieces (IMHO) published in the "letters to the editor" column. One of the people to share the editorial space with me was Les Payne.
Les Payne was an African American editor of Newsday who would regularly point out, through the 80's and 90's, that Don Imus would, "indiscriminately" (!) take low cheap racial shots at every Black person on the public radar, defaulting every person to Rastus-level minstrelsry regardless of their achievement or character. He was dead on right. As Bob Herbert points out in his column this Monday, Imus was quoted as saying "Bernard McGuirk is there to make nigger jokes." on 60 Minutes. Any sentient being who listened to 3 Imus programs could not conclude otherwise.
Imus's target audience is guys like me, middle-aged (plus) white guys in NY's financial industry.
It's why he can outbill Stern. Many of us think this rote crap is hysterical, and it is certainly never going to directly offend any of us. I've been personally offended by the laziness of it for a long time. That enough people drew the line at the "nappy headed ho's" characterization of the Rutger's Women's Basketball Team is more a testament to the lattitude he was given than anything else.
Just because you're a white humorist who says "nigger", it doesn't make you Mark Twain, or Kurt Vonnegut (Innocent Bystander High in "B of C") for that matter.
Time: Ask Freddy or Jason
Place: Welfae Island Swankadero - not Newsday territory
I don't think I've looked at a copy of Newsday (the Long Island paper) since I moved to Roosevelt Island. Before that, living in Long Island and Queens between 1988 and 2004, I read it quite a bit and had many (4 or 5) comedic masterpieces (IMHO) published in the "letters to the editor" column. One of the people to share the editorial space with me was Les Payne.
Les Payne was an African American editor of Newsday who would regularly point out, through the 80's and 90's, that Don Imus would, "indiscriminately" (!) take low cheap racial shots at every Black person on the public radar, defaulting every person to Rastus-level minstrelsry regardless of their achievement or character. He was dead on right. As Bob Herbert points out in his column this Monday, Imus was quoted as saying "Bernard McGuirk is there to make nigger jokes." on 60 Minutes. Any sentient being who listened to 3 Imus programs could not conclude otherwise.
Imus's target audience is guys like me, middle-aged (plus) white guys in NY's financial industry.
It's why he can outbill Stern. Many of us think this rote crap is hysterical, and it is certainly never going to directly offend any of us. I've been personally offended by the laziness of it for a long time. That enough people drew the line at the "nappy headed ho's" characterization of the Rutger's Women's Basketball Team is more a testament to the lattitude he was given than anything else.
Just because you're a white humorist who says "nigger", it doesn't make you Mark Twain, or Kurt Vonnegut (Innocent Bystander High in "B of C") for that matter.
Thursday, April 12, 2007
So he's gone
Date: April 12, 2007
Time: 21:36
Place: In the chronosynclastic infindibulum
Kurt Vonnegut claimed he was going to sue the tobacco companies. He said they'd been promising to kill him for the last 40 years and hadn't delivered their end of the bargain. He died yesterday from irreversible head wounds suffered in a reent fall. So it goes.
I started reading all his stuff back when I was in about 6th grade. Breakfast of Champions was just out that year and somewhat scandalized the world with his crudely drawn sketch of a vagina. Even 12 year old me was able to understand from the text that what was being parodied was the trumped up, idiotic, and pointlessly infantile sexual fixation predominant in society at large.
I can get several of these 10 minute blogs out of Kurt, and I know he would have approved. He was a big advocate for writing whenever and wherever you could, and he claimed the anyone who managed to get paid for writing was among the most fabulously lucky people on earth.
Kurt was one of those shameless hack authors who made no bones about the commercial aspect of his trade. That puts him in esteemed company of P.G.Wodehouse, whose books I saw in a segregated "literature" section which would have no doubt amused Mr. Wodehouse greatly. As an Irish American who drank a lot of Guiness at a bar called Bloom's in Sunnyside, Queens, I felt compelled to read Ulysses. One of the great literary features associated with that highly regarded novel is Joyce's use of different techniques, hence the term "technical novel". Vonnegut managed to blend narration styles, prose styles ("Cat's Cradle" written in the "rat-a-tat staccato rhythms of journalism") and work in an otherwise deprecated science fiction framework. Kurt, of course, had plots and points to make which also distinguished his work from Ulysses.
I never was able to enjoy sci-fi to which my otherwise nerdy tendencies would dispose me, but I would be expecting "Sirens of Titan" and be confronted in a book with a guy milking the bitchy robot joke long past death.
Tom Carson, the literary critic of the New Yorker, once wrote that there are two types of people who consider Vonnegut a great literary author, those who don't read much literature and those who read a lot of literature.
Time: 21:36
Place: In the chronosynclastic infindibulum
Kurt Vonnegut claimed he was going to sue the tobacco companies. He said they'd been promising to kill him for the last 40 years and hadn't delivered their end of the bargain. He died yesterday from irreversible head wounds suffered in a reent fall. So it goes.
I started reading all his stuff back when I was in about 6th grade. Breakfast of Champions was just out that year and somewhat scandalized the world with his crudely drawn sketch of a vagina. Even 12 year old me was able to understand from the text that what was being parodied was the trumped up, idiotic, and pointlessly infantile sexual fixation predominant in society at large.
I can get several of these 10 minute blogs out of Kurt, and I know he would have approved. He was a big advocate for writing whenever and wherever you could, and he claimed the anyone who managed to get paid for writing was among the most fabulously lucky people on earth.
Kurt was one of those shameless hack authors who made no bones about the commercial aspect of his trade. That puts him in esteemed company of P.G.Wodehouse, whose books I saw in a segregated "literature" section which would have no doubt amused Mr. Wodehouse greatly. As an Irish American who drank a lot of Guiness at a bar called Bloom's in Sunnyside, Queens, I felt compelled to read Ulysses. One of the great literary features associated with that highly regarded novel is Joyce's use of different techniques, hence the term "technical novel". Vonnegut managed to blend narration styles, prose styles ("Cat's Cradle" written in the "rat-a-tat staccato rhythms of journalism") and work in an otherwise deprecated science fiction framework. Kurt, of course, had plots and points to make which also distinguished his work from Ulysses.
I never was able to enjoy sci-fi to which my otherwise nerdy tendencies would dispose me, but I would be expecting "Sirens of Titan" and be confronted in a book with a guy milking the bitchy robot joke long past death.
Tom Carson, the literary critic of the New Yorker, once wrote that there are two types of people who consider Vonnegut a great literary author, those who don't read much literature and those who read a lot of literature.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Cataclysm averted
Date: April 11, 2007
Time: 21:21
Place: On solid ground
Chuck ->Prince<- is a drama ->queen<-. For those of you who don't know and hadn't guessed, he is the CEO of Citibank under whose guidance the past 4 years the stock has stayed basically flat. He made this huge point of telling the investment world, which perks up whenever he coughs badly or eats oysters in a month with an "r" in it, that he was going to make all these operating cuts. He would make the big announcement today. One would think this was well planned and all the specific notifications would be made throughout the company today in a coordinated fashion.
Every on e-mail got the 3 paragraph "vision statement" fluff from Chuck but that was about it. No specific detail was given to anyone as far I can tell. People spent most of the day talking about what might happen. Of course, productivity soared. Morale jumped from the mountaintops to the ionosphere.
In truth, the financial press from Barron's last year to the NY Post a few weeks ago has been fairly unanimous. There's really only one layoff they are interested in and that is Chuck himself. He reminds me of the pig on the lifeboat. Everybody else is convinced that he should be bacon, but the pig feels otherwise.
Time: 21:21
Place: On solid ground
Chuck ->Prince<- is a drama ->queen<-. For those of you who don't know and hadn't guessed, he is the CEO of Citibank under whose guidance the past 4 years the stock has stayed basically flat. He made this huge point of telling the investment world, which perks up whenever he coughs badly or eats oysters in a month with an "r" in it, that he was going to make all these operating cuts. He would make the big announcement today. One would think this was well planned and all the specific notifications would be made throughout the company today in a coordinated fashion.
Every on e-mail got the 3 paragraph "vision statement" fluff from Chuck but that was about it. No specific detail was given to anyone as far I can tell. People spent most of the day talking about what might happen. Of course, productivity soared. Morale jumped from the mountaintops to the ionosphere.
In truth, the financial press from Barron's last year to the NY Post a few weeks ago has been fairly unanimous. There's really only one layoff they are interested in and that is Chuck himself. He reminds me of the pig on the lifeboat. Everybody else is convinced that he should be bacon, but the pig feels otherwise.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Citi-Cataclysm announced tomorrow
Date: April 9th, 2007
Time: 22:38
Place: Tenterhooks
The financial press is all a-twitter about tomorrow's big announcement about the shake-ups at Citibank. Some reports have "layoffs AND (emphasis mine) relocations" totalling 36,000. I don't think it's going to affect me or many of the people in my direct area.
There are some new rental apartments going up in Long Island City near the old Pepsi-Cola plant. The want around 4K per month for a 2 bedroom apartment in a middle-of-nowhere area. Has there been a new glut of 6-figure jobs that appeared in NY recently of which I am unaware? The pay scales at the banks and brokerage houses have been flat to down, and there are fewer banks and brokerages than there were. Chase, MHT, Chemical, and JP Morgan are all part of Bank One. Smith Barney and Merrill are the only big brokers left. Even the remaining financial companies have been moving their operations and DP out of the city of not out of the country.
I guess it must be from real estate, the price of which rises as people swap it among themselves in anticipation of rising value. Tulip bulbs, anyone?
Time: 22:38
Place: Tenterhooks
The financial press is all a-twitter about tomorrow's big announcement about the shake-ups at Citibank. Some reports have "layoffs AND (emphasis mine) relocations" totalling 36,000. I don't think it's going to affect me or many of the people in my direct area.
There are some new rental apartments going up in Long Island City near the old Pepsi-Cola plant. The want around 4K per month for a 2 bedroom apartment in a middle-of-nowhere area. Has there been a new glut of 6-figure jobs that appeared in NY recently of which I am unaware? The pay scales at the banks and brokerage houses have been flat to down, and there are fewer banks and brokerages than there were. Chase, MHT, Chemical, and JP Morgan are all part of Bank One. Smith Barney and Merrill are the only big brokers left. Even the remaining financial companies have been moving their operations and DP out of the city of not out of the country.
I guess it must be from real estate, the price of which rises as people swap it among themselves in anticipation of rising value. Tulip bulbs, anyone?
Monday, April 9, 2007
Ambassador Al
Date: April 9, 2007
Time: 21:30
Place: Roosevelt Island's Queens Embassy
Aside from 2 years in Wisconsin and 6 years in Nassau County, for the first 42 years of my life I lived in Queens. I was born in Little Neck, the north-easternmost town in Queens and later I moved to Forest Hills in central Queens. For the past 14 years I've worked in the westernmost part of Queens, Long Island City. 3 years ago, feeling that the real estate market was topped off, I sold my Forest Hills condo and moved to a rental here on Roosevelt Island. Being only several dozen yards from Queens by the Welfare Island bridge, an extension of 36th Avenue, I expected it would be rather Queens like. Wrong.
Queens ends rather abruptly on Vernon Boulevard. I am pretty much of an ambassador from the mainland here. 50% of my apartment complex is occupied by UN delegates. The apartments are cheaper than Manhattan, it's very parklike, and the tram lets you off reasonably close to UN and the embassies. Nobody gets my references to old sitcoms. Diplomacy does indeed have a language all its own.
On the other side of the bridge, if I saw an African diplomat in flowing robes, his traditional hat barely fitting in the driver's ed car as he takes a driving lesson, I'd expect to see fellow Queens native Eddie Murphy nearby shooting a movie. Here, of course, the man is actually an African diplomat taking a driving lesson.
A lot of the Fiji diplomats are in my building. Oddly enough, Rugby is their national sport.
Time: 21:30
Place: Roosevelt Island's Queens Embassy
Aside from 2 years in Wisconsin and 6 years in Nassau County, for the first 42 years of my life I lived in Queens. I was born in Little Neck, the north-easternmost town in Queens and later I moved to Forest Hills in central Queens. For the past 14 years I've worked in the westernmost part of Queens, Long Island City. 3 years ago, feeling that the real estate market was topped off, I sold my Forest Hills condo and moved to a rental here on Roosevelt Island. Being only several dozen yards from Queens by the Welfare Island bridge, an extension of 36th Avenue, I expected it would be rather Queens like. Wrong.
Queens ends rather abruptly on Vernon Boulevard. I am pretty much of an ambassador from the mainland here. 50% of my apartment complex is occupied by UN delegates. The apartments are cheaper than Manhattan, it's very parklike, and the tram lets you off reasonably close to UN and the embassies. Nobody gets my references to old sitcoms. Diplomacy does indeed have a language all its own.
On the other side of the bridge, if I saw an African diplomat in flowing robes, his traditional hat barely fitting in the driver's ed car as he takes a driving lesson, I'd expect to see fellow Queens native Eddie Murphy nearby shooting a movie. Here, of course, the man is actually an African diplomat taking a driving lesson.
A lot of the Fiji diplomats are in my building. Oddly enough, Rugby is their national sport.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Who Laid Out These Bunkers, Hitler?
Date: April 8th, 2007
Time: 23:00
Place: In the clubhouse
Actually, I think he might have been mowing the greens, too. Him or Marquis de Sade. This was about the ugliest Master's I've seen, in terms of bogies and double bogies by top ranked pros. The guy who won said he felt Jeebus with him the whole time but it seemed the old testament Lord God Smites-a-lot was working everyone else's bag.
It even looked like Augusta finally had enough of Tiger Woods, he who humiliated the course by playing its par 5's as 3-wood-wedge. After getting wet at the par 5 15th, he had a fairly easy short iron to the 16th. He took a pretty good swing, but a bizarre wind came up knocking him down short of the green, causing him to exclaim "Can someone explain to me what the hell just happened there?" It got picked up on tape pretty clearly so we're probably going to be hearing it for another month as the sportscasters babble about it.
They should have heard me on Sunken Meadow Red #7 a few years ago. Those little kids at the pool party in the adjacent house sure did. I nailed a pretty good drive and was going for the par 5 green in 2. The little kids were down splashing and shrieking as one would expect. Unfortunately, I hit a very bad 3 wood after which my playing partner Ed says I hollered out 600 words in 20 seconds, all of which began with the letter "F".
The kids went dead silent. I doubt they've recovered yet.
Time: 23:00
Place: In the clubhouse
Actually, I think he might have been mowing the greens, too. Him or Marquis de Sade. This was about the ugliest Master's I've seen, in terms of bogies and double bogies by top ranked pros. The guy who won said he felt Jeebus with him the whole time but it seemed the old testament Lord God Smites-a-lot was working everyone else's bag.
It even looked like Augusta finally had enough of Tiger Woods, he who humiliated the course by playing its par 5's as 3-wood-wedge. After getting wet at the par 5 15th, he had a fairly easy short iron to the 16th. He took a pretty good swing, but a bizarre wind came up knocking him down short of the green, causing him to exclaim "Can someone explain to me what the hell just happened there?" It got picked up on tape pretty clearly so we're probably going to be hearing it for another month as the sportscasters babble about it.
They should have heard me on Sunken Meadow Red #7 a few years ago. Those little kids at the pool party in the adjacent house sure did. I nailed a pretty good drive and was going for the par 5 green in 2. The little kids were down splashing and shrieking as one would expect. Unfortunately, I hit a very bad 3 wood after which my playing partner Ed says I hollered out 600 words in 20 seconds, all of which began with the letter "F".
The kids went dead silent. I doubt they've recovered yet.
Saturday, April 7, 2007
If Libertarians hate him, he can't be all bad
Date: April 8, 2007
Time: 22:22
Place: In my apartment with the heat cranked up and not happy about it
I'm fending off a bit of a head cold. Roosevelt Island was where they quarantined Typhoid Mary and apparently some woman on the tram last week was doing one of those "historical reenactments". She sat there next to me hacking away. So I did damn little today other than walk down to our "Starbucks", watch TV, sneeze off about 25% of a box of Kleenex, and surf the web.
I've always been amazed at the demented, reactionary hatred of Al Gore. The press coverage of him in 2000 was too loony to be believed and it was also largely in the "liberal" press. Read the Daily Howler website for the "War on Gore" articles. I was over at the Rodney Anonymous Tells You How to Live (the former lead singer of the Dead Milkmen if you haven't been paying attention) arguing with a bunch of Nader supporters how, yes, it IS Nader's fault that Bush is President. Gore lost Florida by less than 600 votes, Nader got 97,000, the lowest estimate is that Gore would have gotten 12,000 of those votes.
Most of these people identify themselves as Libertarians. How loony and pathological is the hatred of Gore? The allegedly environmentalist Green Party would aggressively spurn him in favor of a consumer advocate with slim environmental credentials; and Libertarians, who profess to eschew government regulations, would vote for a consumer advocate lawyer from the environmentalist party.
Time: 22:22
Place: In my apartment with the heat cranked up and not happy about it
I'm fending off a bit of a head cold. Roosevelt Island was where they quarantined Typhoid Mary and apparently some woman on the tram last week was doing one of those "historical reenactments". She sat there next to me hacking away. So I did damn little today other than walk down to our "Starbucks", watch TV, sneeze off about 25% of a box of Kleenex, and surf the web.
I've always been amazed at the demented, reactionary hatred of Al Gore. The press coverage of him in 2000 was too loony to be believed and it was also largely in the "liberal" press. Read the Daily Howler website for the "War on Gore" articles. I was over at the Rodney Anonymous Tells You How to Live (the former lead singer of the Dead Milkmen if you haven't been paying attention) arguing with a bunch of Nader supporters how, yes, it IS Nader's fault that Bush is President. Gore lost Florida by less than 600 votes, Nader got 97,000, the lowest estimate is that Gore would have gotten 12,000 of those votes.
Most of these people identify themselves as Libertarians. How loony and pathological is the hatred of Gore? The allegedly environmentalist Green Party would aggressively spurn him in favor of a consumer advocate with slim environmental credentials; and Libertarians, who profess to eschew government regulations, would vote for a consumer advocate lawyer from the environmentalist party.
Friday, April 6, 2007
I got skills
Date: Apr 06. 2007
Time: 11:50
Place: By the banks of the Suir that rolls down by MoonCoin
I hate to disappoint those looking for insightful Master's commentary, but the winds have died, Augusta is back to itself, and I do believe the US will rise again desoite Phil Mickelson's ridiculous showing on the 11th hole.
And how do I know? Because I am a soulful individual and an award winning poet.
Okay, I can't prove the former but I did win a "First Prize" in the Murphy's Stout Limerick contest which wil be attested to by Mark Brown who tends bar Friday nights at "THe Grandstand" on Grand Ave just off Queens Blvd in Elmhurst and Ronan Conlan, proprietor of the Banc Cafe and Antartica,downn around 30th St and 3rd Ave in Manhattam.
Anyhoo, I submitted two and I'm not sure which one won.
It was a very restrictive form of poetry, much more so than Haiku. IT had to start "There once as a man from Cork", it had to mention Murphy's Stout, and eschew profanity.
My two entries. one of which won an award
There once was a man from Cork,
Whose poor pet pig was made pork
He felt down and out
Til he drank Murphy's Stout
And yelled "Somebody bring me a fork"
The second, perhaps too politically hot entry was
There once was a man from Cork,
Off a tryst with the Duchess of York (these were "Fergie" days)
Said "gwan pound the turf,
Stay away from me Murph's,
And good luck you don't hear from the stork"!
Time: 11:50
Place: By the banks of the Suir that rolls down by MoonCoin
I hate to disappoint those looking for insightful Master's commentary, but the winds have died, Augusta is back to itself, and I do believe the US will rise again desoite Phil Mickelson's ridiculous showing on the 11th hole.
And how do I know? Because I am a soulful individual and an award winning poet.
Okay, I can't prove the former but I did win a "First Prize" in the Murphy's Stout Limerick contest which wil be attested to by Mark Brown who tends bar Friday nights at "THe Grandstand" on Grand Ave just off Queens Blvd in Elmhurst and Ronan Conlan, proprietor of the Banc Cafe and Antartica,downn around 30th St and 3rd Ave in Manhattam.
Anyhoo, I submitted two and I'm not sure which one won.
It was a very restrictive form of poetry, much more so than Haiku. IT had to start "There once as a man from Cork", it had to mention Murphy's Stout, and eschew profanity.
My two entries. one of which won an award
There once was a man from Cork,
Whose poor pet pig was made pork
He felt down and out
Til he drank Murphy's Stout
And yelled "Somebody bring me a fork"
The second, perhaps too politically hot entry was
There once was a man from Cork,
Off a tryst with the Duchess of York (these were "Fergie" days)
Said "gwan pound the turf,
Stay away from me Murph's,
And good luck you don't hear from the stork"!
Thursday, April 5, 2007
I must be physic!
Date: Apr 06, 2007
Time: 22:50
Place: In the wolf-zone
Something made me write that "Dumbo's Ears" post a few days ago. I've certainly never forgotten Wolfowitz, he even stands out among this administration for brazen incompetence and stupidity, and that takes some doing. I heard about this http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/node/4282 today. Apparently, as head of the World Bank, Paul has managed to bump his girlfriend's salary up past the 200K mark, which is a very high number for such positions.
My personal take on this is that he realized that his trumped-up war will not kill as many people as Robert McNamara's did. The competive juices probably started flowing thick enough to moisten 200,000 combs (ref: Farenheit 911) . He had to do something conspicuously worse than McNamara at the WB, having failed to worst him at the Department of Defense. This seems pretty tepid though. Unless you know (alert Dan Brown) --> the code <--. When the large bank I work for had some sloppy cases of managers dating underlings, we all went to training about what was legal in this area. The class was called "Respect At Work" thus the acronym RAW. As anyone who watches pro wrestling on cable knows, RAW is WAR, or at least if you spell it backwards. So Wolfowitz has finally trumped McNamara at disastrous war! It may seem a contrived stretch, but remember, this is the moron who said the occupation of Iraq was going o be like the occupation of France after WWII. http://www.lossless-audio.com/usa/index0.php?page=982808416.htm
Time: 22:50
Place: In the wolf-zone
Something made me write that "Dumbo's Ears" post a few days ago. I've certainly never forgotten Wolfowitz, he even stands out among this administration for brazen incompetence and stupidity, and that takes some doing. I heard about this http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/node/4282 today. Apparently, as head of the World Bank, Paul has managed to bump his girlfriend's salary up past the 200K mark, which is a very high number for such positions.
My personal take on this is that he realized that his trumped-up war will not kill as many people as Robert McNamara's did. The competive juices probably started flowing thick enough to moisten 200,000 combs (ref: Farenheit 911) . He had to do something conspicuously worse than McNamara at the WB, having failed to worst him at the Department of Defense. This seems pretty tepid though. Unless you know (alert Dan Brown) --> the code <--. When the large bank I work for had some sloppy cases of managers dating underlings, we all went to training about what was legal in this area. The class was called "Respect At Work" thus the acronym RAW. As anyone who watches pro wrestling on cable knows, RAW is WAR, or at least if you spell it backwards. So Wolfowitz has finally trumped McNamara at disastrous war! It may seem a contrived stretch, but remember, this is the moron who said the occupation of Iraq was going o be like the occupation of France after WWII. http://www.lossless-audio.com/usa/index0.php?page=982808416.htm
Wednesday, April 4, 2007
Dad gum cockeyed falcon sons of benches
Date: Apr 04, 2007
Time: 21:40
Place: The f-bomb shelter
Several years back, MAD TV did a skit about the Pax Network (a stridently family friendly enterprise) showing the Sopranos. They'd start bleeping every third word, and they cut away as soon as Big Pussy walks in the door. The announcer comes on and says, "Join us tomorrow between 9:00 and 9:04 for the next episode of the 'Sopranos' on PAX. "
I just flipped past A&E showing the "Sopranos" and the effect was not that much different. I'm sure there is some word like "sibilant" for "s" sound and "percussive" for the "p" sound that applies to the letter "f". The utterer must force upper teeth against lower lip so there is a strong visual indication of what the person is saying. The short "u" requires a distinctive drop of the jaw. The point here is that one can amuse oneself by counting the bleeped f-bombs and the bowdlerizations that are substituted. They're fond of "freakin'".
At work, we like to parody the network TV version of "Glengary Glen Ross" by ginning up pointless arguments and then yelling "Forget you!".
Battlestar Galactica liberally sprinkles "frak" throughout the dialogue. For those readers of this blog who've linked to Nina Gordon's cover of NWA's "Straight Outta Compton" and share my dismay at the closer of BSG, can you imagine if that was the song the unwitting Cylons heard in the ship's walls? ... An AK47 is a tool, don't make me play the mother-frakkin fool ...
Time: 21:40
Place: The f-bomb shelter
Several years back, MAD TV did a skit about the Pax Network (a stridently family friendly enterprise) showing the Sopranos. They'd start bleeping every third word, and they cut away as soon as Big Pussy walks in the door. The announcer comes on and says, "Join us tomorrow between 9:00 and 9:04 for the next episode of the 'Sopranos' on PAX. "
I just flipped past A&E showing the "Sopranos" and the effect was not that much different. I'm sure there is some word like "sibilant" for "s" sound and "percussive" for the "p" sound that applies to the letter "f". The utterer must force upper teeth against lower lip so there is a strong visual indication of what the person is saying. The short "u" requires a distinctive drop of the jaw. The point here is that one can amuse oneself by counting the bleeped f-bombs and the bowdlerizations that are substituted. They're fond of "freakin'".
At work, we like to parody the network TV version of "Glengary Glen Ross" by ginning up pointless arguments and then yelling "Forget you!".
Battlestar Galactica liberally sprinkles "frak" throughout the dialogue. For those readers of this blog who've linked to Nina Gordon's cover of NWA's "Straight Outta Compton" and share my dismay at the closer of BSG, can you imagine if that was the song the unwitting Cylons heard in the ship's walls? ... An AK47 is a tool, don't make me play the mother-frakkin fool ...
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
Insert your own Yes pun here
Date: April 03, 2007
Time: 22:22
Place: In the court of the crimson kiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg
And who doesn't love pretentious 70's art rock. I think Adrian Belew spent his life trying to atone for that crap. One of my pet personal theories is that this is the way punk started. How does one respond to "In and around the lake, mountains come out of the sky and they stand there" other than "gabba gabba hey". When they try that hard to sound artsy smart, jiu-jitsu suggests you go as dumb as possible.
That "in and around the lake" drivel was from the song Roundabout by a band called "Yes". To make matters worse, they had this truly annoying vocalist named Jon Andersen who threw down the ersatz Elizabethan rhymes in a high pitched chortle. To see a very close-on parody by "They Might Be Giants" go to http://www.tmbg.com/venue.html and click on the Dallas tab, wait for John Hodgeman to finish, and enjoy. Yes had a very similar song about telling the moon and the March hare that made far less sense.
Another problem was that the musicians in Yes, aside from a merely very good drummer, were some of the best of their day and they practiced really, really hard. Behind the chortling bs coming out of Andersen were intricate scales being played at a furious pace. These guys made Cream and Hendrix sound like slobs. "Heart of the Sunrise" would be the greatest instrumental track ever recorded except it wasn't an instrumental. True to form, the song stops while Andersen bleats out "Sharp .... Distance" because I suppose he felt he had to.
Again, for the garage band, this was unapproachable. You could practice all your life and never be that good. You could however, sound pretty close to the Ramones in a few weeks.
Time: 22:22
Place: In the court of the crimson kiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggg
And who doesn't love pretentious 70's art rock. I think Adrian Belew spent his life trying to atone for that crap. One of my pet personal theories is that this is the way punk started. How does one respond to "In and around the lake, mountains come out of the sky and they stand there" other than "gabba gabba hey". When they try that hard to sound artsy smart, jiu-jitsu suggests you go as dumb as possible.
That "in and around the lake" drivel was from the song Roundabout by a band called "Yes". To make matters worse, they had this truly annoying vocalist named Jon Andersen who threw down the ersatz Elizabethan rhymes in a high pitched chortle. To see a very close-on parody by "They Might Be Giants" go to http://www.tmbg.com/venue.html and click on the Dallas tab, wait for John Hodgeman to finish, and enjoy. Yes had a very similar song about telling the moon and the March hare that made far less sense.
Another problem was that the musicians in Yes, aside from a merely very good drummer, were some of the best of their day and they practiced really, really hard. Behind the chortling bs coming out of Andersen were intricate scales being played at a furious pace. These guys made Cream and Hendrix sound like slobs. "Heart of the Sunrise" would be the greatest instrumental track ever recorded except it wasn't an instrumental. True to form, the song stops while Andersen bleats out "Sharp .... Distance" because I suppose he felt he had to.
Again, for the garage band, this was unapproachable. You could practice all your life and never be that good. You could however, sound pretty close to the Ramones in a few weeks.
Monday, April 2, 2007
I been lied to ....
Date: April 2, 2007
Time: 22:22
Place: In NY for a while to come
I was watching Countdown tonight and they had the list of the top 16 foolish people of 2007. Mel Gibson wound up tied for 5th with Dick Cheney. The reason I mention it is for one of his memorable quotes from that fateful evening. It wasn't the rant. There is little point to ranting, because none of them can ever compare to http://www.lyricstime.com/dead-milkmen-stuart-lyrics.html whether set to music or not. No, the quote of which I am speaking is his inquiry of a female officer, "What're you looking at, sugartits?"
At some point in their history, the Kentucky counties just south of Cincinnati (whose airport is in Covington KY) let a bunch of drunk fratboys name their towns. There's Sugartit (near or part of Florence) and the Big Bone Lick state park. The way I became aware of all this was not from a pamphlet from Pueblo, Colorado (see lyrics to "Stuart") but Citibank was threatening to move me and my colleagues there. The genius who decided on this course of action was sumarily canned last November after crippling the division and getting into a disastrous contract with an Indian outsourcer (side note: NY Times columnist Tom Friedman is wrong about the flat world, wrong about small companies solving the energy crisis, and was laughably wrong about Iraq. Then again, his league has Brooks, Dowd, and Rich). The relocation was stopped dead.
Anyway, in this Dilbert-esque world in which managers don't admit mistakes, just this past week the CEO of Citibank announced how well the site consolidation to the Cincinnati area was going. Actually, I think the shareholders are getting ready to move him there.
Time: 22:22
Place: In NY for a while to come
I was watching Countdown tonight and they had the list of the top 16 foolish people of 2007. Mel Gibson wound up tied for 5th with Dick Cheney. The reason I mention it is for one of his memorable quotes from that fateful evening. It wasn't the rant. There is little point to ranting, because none of them can ever compare to http://www.lyricstime.com/dead-milkmen-stuart-lyrics.html whether set to music or not. No, the quote of which I am speaking is his inquiry of a female officer, "What're you looking at, sugartits?"
At some point in their history, the Kentucky counties just south of Cincinnati (whose airport is in Covington KY) let a bunch of drunk fratboys name their towns. There's Sugartit (near or part of Florence) and the Big Bone Lick state park. The way I became aware of all this was not from a pamphlet from Pueblo, Colorado (see lyrics to "Stuart") but Citibank was threatening to move me and my colleagues there. The genius who decided on this course of action was sumarily canned last November after crippling the division and getting into a disastrous contract with an Indian outsourcer (side note: NY Times columnist Tom Friedman is wrong about the flat world, wrong about small companies solving the energy crisis, and was laughably wrong about Iraq. Then again, his league has Brooks, Dowd, and Rich). The relocation was stopped dead.
Anyway, in this Dilbert-esque world in which managers don't admit mistakes, just this past week the CEO of Citibank announced how well the site consolidation to the Cincinnati area was going. Actually, I think the shareholders are getting ready to move him there.
Sunday, April 1, 2007
Dumbo's Ears and Nothing Between
Date: April 1, 2007
Time: none for foolin'
Place: In high dudgeon
I speak of course here of Paul Wolfowitz, the intellectual force behind the early Bush Iraq policy. This is almost as funny a title as his neocon ally Bill Kristol's claim to fame, the "brains behind Dan Quayle". That's like having the best teeth in Britain.
Apparently his father-in-law got him a job as the dean of the Nitze School of International Studies. I hear it's still accredited, probably due to lazy oversight.
Paul was the under-secretary of defense who said the war would pay for itself with oil revenues. He also said that JCS General Eric Shiseki was "wildly off the mark" with the estimate of several hundred thousand troops to occupy Iraq. Why he said this is a mystery, for when asked (shortly after the "Mission Accomplished" photo-op) by noted commie Republican Senator Richard Lugar whether there was any concensus in Iraq to stay one country, he replied that he didn't know, we'd have to wait and see.
He'll go down in history as having locked up the dumbest thing said in the 21st century only three years in, by proclaiming that the occupation of Iraq would be like the occupation of France after World War II. Don't let him in your Lotto pool!
Time: none for foolin'
Place: In high dudgeon
I speak of course here of Paul Wolfowitz, the intellectual force behind the early Bush Iraq policy. This is almost as funny a title as his neocon ally Bill Kristol's claim to fame, the "brains behind Dan Quayle". That's like having the best teeth in Britain.
Apparently his father-in-law got him a job as the dean of the Nitze School of International Studies
Paul was the under-secretary of defense who said the war would pay for itself with oil revenues. He also said that JCS General Eric Shiseki was "wildly off the mark" with the estimate of several hundred thousand troops to occupy Iraq. Why he said this is a mystery, for when asked (shortly after the "Mission Accomplished" photo-op) by noted commie Republican Senator Richard Lugar whether there was any concensus in Iraq to stay one country, he replied that he didn't know, we'd have to wait and see.
He'll go down in history as having locked up the dumbest thing said in the 21st century only three years in, by proclaiming that the occupation of Iraq would be like the occupation of France after World War II. Don't let him in your Lotto pool!
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